Ask The Blog

Asked by: Myself

Self,

I find it funny that you keep submitting questions to yourself when you already know the answers! It's almost as childish as this blog, but I won't go that far. Now, self, you must think I have all this extra time on my hands and nothing to with it.

Wrong!

I'll save the castaway speech for later, but I will assure you that my day to day schedule would give most people my age stress disorders. Therefore, regulating the blog posts to one a week will create ease on myself as well as building hype and more competition to be the "Question of the Week!" So, get off your rump, well actually stay on your rump assuming you are sitting there in your fancy computer chair , and send a question to asktheblog@yahoo.com! Now!

Asked by: Mason from Indianapolis, Indiana

Mason,

I'm glad there is one person out there with a decent question! You see, this one made me think a bit, but thinking is my favorite pastime, so it works out pretty well.

The logical answer would be that the name "rush hour" refers to all of the workaholics scampering home to see their dysfunctional families, before dinner is ready. Therefore, they are "rushing" to get out of the city. I find it funny though, that in some cases, the traffic moves slower than you could walk, so why not walk home? Simple. We are getting lazier and fatter each year, so why walk or ride your bike, when you can drive, pollute, and take the time to realize how depressed you really are, debating whether to quit your job or not!

I also think that another question, based on this topic, should be addressed. Why do they call it rush "hour?" I'm not sure what city you're from, but here, in Indianapolis, the rush does not only last for an hour! I propose they coin a new term for this time of day.

Asked by: Garrett from Carmel, Indiana

Garrett,

Really? This is the best you've got for me! Either way I'll answer it because I find it hilarious you even bring this question up, and I should have figured that it would be asked sooner or later. But really, what a common question. I doubt it is even possible to count the number of different takes on this joke, if you can call it that.

You know why I think the chicken crossed the road? To get to the other side! It does not end there though. I respect the chicken for the efforts it made. Escaping that coop was probably not the easiest task, let alone sneaking past the farmer. Hell, if I were a chicken, I'd cross the road and flee the country. Wouldn't you? I would rather not be that farmers dinner, and I definitely would not enjoy having my head cut off!

Dear brave and courageous chicken, continue on your quest, and don't forget to write me when you reach Europe.

Asked by: Alex from Indianapolis, Indiana

Alex,

I hear there is blue grass in some places, so really, we need to first investigate whether the grass is even green on the other side, before we really ask if it is greener than where we are. For time's sake, let's say that we conclude the other side does, in fact, have green grass. Next, we want to question why we are even asking. Are you uncomfortable with the grass you stand on? Is it not soft enough for you? If you roll around in it, does it make you itch?

To me, it sounds like you are being quite picky about this whole situation. Does it really matter to you what shade of grass you are surrounded by? As long as it isn't a shade of brown, I'd say you are just fine. To me, it sounds like you are being rude to your grass. Can you imagine how it feels, knowing you are so curious about its adversary? That grass probably feels a bit neglected and unloved. My suggestion is to reconnect with your grass. Find out what makes it happy and how it satisfies you. Then, see if you even continue to wonder about the grass on the other side.

Wait... Are we even talking about grass anymore?

Asked by: Myself

Self,

It's funny you ask yourself this question. The answer is right here. That's the beauty of the blog. You emailed your question to asktheblog@yahoo.com and what do you know? Your question was picked as the "Question of the Day!"

Now, whenever you see "Question of the Day" in quotations, being used within this blog, I want you to think of the monster truck rally commercials you see on TV. Yes, the overly exaggerated voice that is so hilarious, but yet you hate with a passion. Are they serious? What makes them think that just by screaming the name of the monster truck show's name or the day it is on would make more people attend? Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds like this is one excuse to make fools of themselves on national television. But, we love it!

Dear monster truck drivers and marketers, please continue to liven our day with your ridiculous commercials and unorthodox lifestyles!